Revisiting Silent Hill: Revelation 3D

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My first thought upon realizing someone brazenly uploaded this entire movie to Youtube FOUR years ago and it still hasn’t been pulled is this movie is so bad the people who made don’t even care about getting it removed from a free streaming site.

Admittedly this isn’t as terrible as I remember it being. Being a big fan of the Silent Hill games (and Heather Mason as a character), I really wanted this movie to be good. This was only my second time watching it which is a true testament to how disappointing I found it.

This is the kind of movie where it becomes clear the creators had a lot of scenes they brainstormed that they thought would be cool and instead of sacrificing any of those scenes they just found wacky sets of circumstances in order to cram them in. Heather’s trip through Silent Hill functions like a gory version of Scooby Doo meets Silent Hill 3 with each door she opens leading to nurses or a creepy mannequin monster or Pyramid Head chopping off random sinners’ arms in glorious 3D. For a movie that tries to make you think overtime to work out its inconsistent plot if you just try to enjoy the visuals and not engage too much it’s not that bad of a time.

Random Observations:

  • It’s nice to see Jon Snow and Ned Stark both alive on a Sunday night.
  • Although this is twice the movies failed to use Pyramid Head as he is in the game it’s at least kind of cool to see them work him into the sequel in a clever way
  • Just let it soak in that this movie includes a dramatic hug off between Heather and Alessa
  • 3D Porn (figuratively not literally): I fully believe if you are going to use 3D effects in a popcorn movie you need to go full out with incredulous and ridiculous reasons to utilize 3D. This movie has dismembered fingers, blood, swords, and monsters all taking completely arbitrary swings at the viewer and I love it
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  • The amount of exposition trying to tie the first movie’s events into this one is pretty painful and perhaps we as viewers need to accept it as the movie’s meta attempt to show us a taste of our own personal Silent Hell if you will
  • For a video game movie this is solid. But that’s like saying it’s a Scranton 7
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  • The part with the nurses is tense, nonsensical (since when do they only move when you do?), and fun – this movie is best when it’s being those 3 things
  • The ending of the film manages to allude to 3 of the different games (Chris staying behind to look for his dead wife ala Silent Hill 2, a trucker picking them up like Travis in Silent Hill: Origins, and a prison bus heading into town ala Silent Hill: Downpour. Makes me wonder if there’s ever a re-release if they will photoshop Norman Reedus in… (RIP PT)

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