Truthful Thoughts from Someone Who Has Waited Over Two Decades for Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

*****SPOILER FREE DISCUSSION***** "Have you ever loved somebody so muchIt makes you cry?Have you ever needed somethin' so badYou can't sleep at night?Have you ever tried to find the wordsBut they don't come out right?Have you ever? Have you ever?"Brandy, "Have You Ever?" Like Brandy, I too have wanted something so bad. For over two … Continue reading Truthful Thoughts from Someone Who Has Waited Over Two Decades for Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021)

What I Learned from Watching 10 Children of the Corn Movies in a Row + A Ranking

Me giving thanks I'm done with this franchise For the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO), I watched all 10 Children of the Corn movies in a row. I realized in the middle of this process this franchise predates my existence, and will probably outlive me at the rate it is going. … Continue reading What I Learned from Watching 10 Children of the Corn Movies in a Row + A Ranking

Nomadland, More Adults than Children or Corn, and Sassy Waitresses: Is Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  The tenth Children of the Corn movie was released a full seven years after the ninth entry. Unlike many of the loose sequels, this entry follows one of the corn cult children as an adult. In this movie, Malachai's pregnant girlfriend Ruth … Continue reading Nomadland, More Adults than Children or Corn, and Sassy Waitresses: Is Children of the Corn: Runaway (2018) Worth It?

Bottle Episodes, Mail Order Brides, and Final Destination Knockoffs: Is Children of the Corn: Genesis (2011) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  I guess we've given up on taglines and everything else at this point Coming two years after the 2009 Syfy channel remake, Children of the Corn: Genesis follows a couple who get stranded on a desolate desert road in California. When they … Continue reading Bottle Episodes, Mail Order Brides, and Final Destination Knockoffs: Is Children of the Corn: Genesis (2011) Worth It?

Vietnam, Giant Hats, and Teen Moms: Is Children of the Corn (2009) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  The Children of the Corn franchise rested for eight years between the seventh entry (Children of the Corn: Revelation) and this eighth entry. My understanding of why there are so many mediocre straight to video entries in this middling franchise is because … Continue reading Vietnam, Giant Hats, and Teen Moms: Is Children of the Corn (2009) Worth It?

Murderous CGI Corn, Hopscotch Girl, and Exploding Ghosts: Is Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  I guess they are just going with "newest" and "terror-filled" this time. One of these was definitely true when this was released! After an abysmal sixth film to cap off the 90s, we get the first Children of the Corn film of … Continue reading Murderous CGI Corn, Hopscotch Girl, and Exploding Ghosts: Is Children of the Corn: Revelation (2001) Worth It?

Adults of the Corn, Gay Kisses, and Numbers Have No Meaning: Is Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return (1999) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  Because the tagline "newest and most shocking" was already taken by the previous year's entry Sometimes you have to ask yourself why your life and your choices have led you here. Watching this movie is definitely one of those times for me. … Continue reading Adults of the Corn, Gay Kisses, and Numbers Have No Meaning: Is Children of the Corn 666: Isaac’s Return (1999) Worth It?

Eva Mendes, Blow Up Dolls, and Smeat: Is Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  Well it is definitely the newest chapter to date for sure! From IMDb: Six college students on a road trip take a wrong turn and end up trapped in a strangely deserted rural town inhabited by a murderous cult of children. Two … Continue reading Eva Mendes, Blow Up Dolls, and Smeat: Is Children of the Corn V: Fields of Terror (1998) Worth It?

A Severe Lack of Corn, Naomi Watts, and a Contagious Virus: Is Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  Even the children look bored From IMDb: There isn't a real synopsis on IMDb because that's how boring this movie is. Basically children in a small town in Nebraska come down with a supernatural fever that makes them evil. Sadly this entry … Continue reading A Severe Lack of Corn, Naomi Watts, and a Contagious Virus: Is Children of the Corn IV: The Gathering (1996) Worth It?

Corn Exports, Patent Corn Magic Bibles, and Basketball: Is Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995) Worth It?

This is part of the Horrorathon for the Little Village Environmental Justice Organization (LVEJO).  The "move over Jason and Freddie!" with Freddy Krueger's name misspelled really says it all! From IMDb: Two brothers connected to the murderous children's cult of Gatlin, Nebraska are taken to Chicago by an adoptive couple. This is the first of many … Continue reading Corn Exports, Patent Corn Magic Bibles, and Basketball: Is Children of the Corn III: Urban Harvest (1995) Worth It?